Readying for the Fall Storm

I went to Costco the other day and they have this big Halloween costume display.

Front and center was the Wonder Woman costume.

I gripped the cart, fought back tears.

Here we go again.

What gives Fall the right?

Why does Fall have the audacity to keep coming every year?

It gave up that right the day my daughter died.

It’s not okay.

Previously, it was cooler temperatures, changing leaves, school starting, pumpkin treats, and fun holidays.

Now, it’s dread, panic, sadness, loss, and missing. So much missing.

I can it feel inside me already.

I’m planting my feet.

Readying my legs.

I’ve got my head down.

The wind stirs around me.

Please, Heavenly Father, give us strength to weather this storm.

Rory, You Be You

When I was pregnant with Rory, I kept saying that I would be fine if I ended up having four boys.

I knew what to do with boys.

I already had three that were good friends.

Adding one more, that’d be great.

But secretly, I wanted a baby girl.

I grew up in a house with the majority of girls. And loved it.

My parents were very encouraging. I always felt like I could be whoever I wanted to be.

I was so excited to spread that message to my daughter.

As Rory grew, Lance and I strived to encourage her, support her, and make sure she knew the sky was the limit.

She wanted to be a doctor? Okay, let’s do it!

You want to get a purple belt? (It was her favorite color.) You got this, girl!

Rory was brave.

She defended her brothers to the Moon and back.

Rory was kind.

She included everyone. Always.

Rory was smart.

She constantly amazed us on what she was picking up on.

Rory was humble.

She was the first to say sorry.

Rory was strong.

She fought through anxiety and fear and came up on the other side.

Rory was so excited to be a mom.

She loved babies. Loved, loved, loved babies and littler than her kids.

Today, I want to celebrate women! I want to celebrate Rory. The amazing woman she was, who she was becoming.

I’m grateful for what she taught me. And what she continues to teach me.

Love you, baby girl.

You took the step ahead of me this time.

A Halloween Memory

Wonder Woman attacking an unknowing Superman.

Last year, I was staying home to hand out candy, the boys were out with cousins and friends, so Rory was trick or treating with my sister and her youngers.

My sister called and asked me to send Rory over. I got her shoes on and sent her out the door. (My sister was at my mom’s, who lived right behind us.)

I gave away some candy. And maybe 5 minutes later my sister called again. “Where’s Rory?”

This was not an usual question. (And, unfortunately, still isn’t.)

My distracted, wandering wild flower.

I looked around a little then asked a neighbor that was trick or treating, “Have you seen Rory?”

“Yeah, she’s down the street with the Vriens family.”

She saw a group of her friends, forgot her destination, and just joined in.

But almost on cue, I see my cute Wonder Woman running back down the cul-de-sac.

After a quick hug, I sent her on her way to my mom’s to have an awesome night of family and candy.

Halloween Costumes

I have a DC comic shirt with three female Superheroes on them.

Rory loved it! Every time I wore it we talked about each of the women and their powers.

She had her Halloween costumes picked out for three years.

2017- Wonder Woman

2018- Super Girl

2019- Batgirl

We got one of those years in.

Man, I miss my supergirl.