What Would I Give?

I did something that I haven’t had the courage to do in the years since Rory passed away.

I googled, “What’s the mortality rate of appendicitis?”

Answer: 0.2%-0.8%.

Ugh. We were so unlucky.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot as numbers and words have been thrown around about COVID-19.

Proportional response.

Economics.

The chance is so small.

It’s only affecting really old or immunodeficient.

Man, what I would have given for instructions to keep Rory safe.

For knowledge I didn’t have then.

For a longer time to diagnose.

For symptoms more synonymous with appendicitis that would have lead to testing.

The mortality rate is higher for COVID-19.

I don’t have the luxury of feeling like it only happens to someone else.

I breathe through the fear daily that this virus could snatch away someone I love.

I don’t let it overwhelm me but it is in the back of my mind.

So I’ll stay home.

For my husband.

For my boys.

For my parents.

For all my extended family.

For my neighbors.

For my friends.

For their kids.

I’ve felt the improbable loss of about 0.5%.

I’d sacrifice almost anything to hold my baby girl again. Jobs. Money. Downtime. Heck, even some freedoms for a few months if I knew it would have kept her safe.

I’d do those same things to prevent someone else from having to experience this loss as well.