Blog

When There’s So Much Loss

The grandsons carrying Dorothy.

Loss.

So much loss.

After we received the call about the death of my mother-in-law, Dorothy, I curled up in bed, crying.

I thought, “How will we move forward? How do we keep going? It’s too hard. Life’s too painful.”

As my thought was concluding I got an immediate impression.

“You’re not alone. You’ve done this. You weren’t alone then and I won’t leave you now.”

These last two years have felt heavy, hard, and impossible.

But as a family we’ve done the impossible with help from family, friends, and Him.

Faith. That’s been the key for me.

We’ll keep putting one foot in front of the other because we believe we’re going to see these loved ones again.

I’ll take a deep breath and hugs my boys through their sorrow because I believe we’re building a family that’ll last into forever.

I’ll cling to my husband as we weather yet another storm because I love him and I have faith that there’s something more for us than this life.

Faith isn’t easy. In fact it can be downright hard.

But we’ve experienced loss before so we know the work it’s going to require.

And we know we’re not alone.

So we’ll keep trusting. Keep believing.

We’ll keep hoping.

Happy Birthday, Baby Girl

Rory, I hope you’re getting a special day with lots of cha cha cha’s, like you provided every time you sang Happy Birthday.

I hope you’re surrounded by love.

I hope you’re giving an abundance of hugs.

I hope you’re proud of the way we’ve continued living.

I hope you spend some time with us today as we celebrate your birth and life.

You’re the best, of the best, of the best.

We love you.

We miss you.

Happy birthday, my girl.

 

Absent Birthdays

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Tomorrow is our third year of celebrating Rory’s birthday without her.

Birthdays have not been the same since she died. I kind of don’t like birthdays anymore.

It’s a reminder of another year.

Another year passed without her present.

A reminder of the empty seat at our celebration.

I miss hearing her sing.

I miss her bright face shining up at mine.

I miss her blowing out her candles.

I miss her excitement about opening her presents.

I miss her gobbling down the cake and ice cream. Or her dessert of choice. One year it was Jello!

Really, I just miss her so much today.

I do every day but I ache for her when her birthday nears.

My arms feel extra empty.

The hole in my heart expanded.

Three.

Such a small number but feels huge.

But here’s my promise to you, baby girl, on year three.

We’re going to celebrate you tomorrow by spreading love.

Because that’s how you lived your life.

With so much love.

Thank You, Forever Thank You

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Collecting.

Gathering.

Sharing.

Loving.

Striving.

The past year has been a labor of love as we started the Rory Ann Moore Foundation.

As we look toward her birthday on Thursday and our first distribution of Rory’s Bags of Love, we want to say a huge, thank you!

Thank you for contributing.

Thank you for your encouragement.

Thank you for showing up.

Thank you for your support.

Thank you for honoring Rory with us.

Our ability to share Rory and her love is everything to us. It keeps her with us and her name alive.

We love you and are forever grateful to have each of you in our lives.

 

Purple Fruit Snacks

As we were rounding out Rory’s Bags of Love with food items, we decided we wanted to include a couple of Rory’s favorites.

Goldfish and fruit snacks were pretty much on her daily diet.

The week before she passed away, she came home excited that someone at her school traded fruit snacks with her.

She got one that was purple!

Her next question was, “Will you get me some?”

She even saved the wrapper to show me!

That night after I dropped her off at karate, I went to Target and got her a big package of purple fruit snacks.

She ate a few of them but the package sat in the pantry uneaten for a long time. Each time I looked in the pantry I was reminded of her excitement and love until the boys slowly ate them.

Now we get to share that love and excitement with a lot of kids.