Bracing For Impact

I feel like I’m in a car.

The rain is turning to snow. My limbs are cold, a bit numb.

I don’t know the destination, but I have my family in there with me.

As I go to make a turn, my tires slide. I turn into the slide. And I spin. And spin.

Then I see it. Five feet ahead, there’s a wall.

I take one last glance around at each face then I grip the steering wheel.

Bracing for impact.

That’s where I’m at right now.

Bracing for impact.

I’m staring down the year mark. One year without my baby girl.

One year without her hugs.

One year without her laughs.

One year without her cuddles.

One year of holidays without her.

One more first holiday without her left. Halloween.

The tears are coming quicker.

My heart pounds harder, faster.

The breakdowns are increasing.

I’m in a tailspin.

Holding on.

And holding on.

Trying to prepare for what’s coming.

6 thoughts on “Bracing For Impact”

  1. You and your family are loved. The one year mark is a big deal. You put so well what is hard to put into words. Keep holding on. The impact will keep coming but you are strong and will make it through. I’m always here if you need me! We would love to see you and your kids sometime soon. Love you and love that silly Rory! She is thought of and missed by us often.

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  2. I love to read your posts, Steph! Hang in there! You’ve almost made it through all the firsts. Thoughts and prayers for you. ❤️

    Like

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