A while ago Lance and I were talking with our grief counselor. We were sharing our fear that Rory isn’t always going to be at the forefront of our brains. That there may come a time that we won’t think of her as often.
He told us it’s going to happen.
This is our brain’s coping mechanism.
There will be nothing new with Rory.
No new events.
No doctors appointments.
No tucking her in at night.
All that’s left is memories.
And that’s how our brain will treat it.
Instead our brains will focus on current events.
The boys’ homework.
Their dental appointments.
Their tuck ins.
That all moves to the forefront.
Rory memories aren’t gone. But they’re filed away.
I can’t resent my brain. It’s helping me cope and function.
But I hate that there’s nothing new.
I wish there was a new event. A new memory I can create with Rory.